A fine vacation
by Nefertem
Summary: A butler exchange. Walter should have gone on a vacation, but instead he landed in a mad house.
1. Chapter 1

Hullo, minna-san! OK, I obviously don't speak English as my first language...and I don't have a beta T_T, so if you find a mistake tell me and I will change it. ^^ And, "yeah" it's short, it's a prolog.

Bear with me. To make this work I have to pretend that the Hellsing time line and he Kuroshitsuji time line are the same. In other words: at the end of the 19th century.

**Disclaimer:** If I'd own Hellsing or Kuroshitsuji or be Kouta Hirano, my live would be awesome! But sadly I' not. ^^''

**A **_fine_ **vacation**

Integra was discussing her latest expenses ( a destroyed summer residence, Sir Hugh Islands destroyed and listed summer residence) with Sir Islands.

As she reached the point, where she felt like throwing her silver ashtray – normally reserved for Alucard – at him, Walter entered the room and stopped her train of thought. - Throwing an ashtray at a member of the Round Table would probably have caused the other members to throw a fit, anyway. And Walter always had the right timing, when it was about keeping her from loosing her temper.

As her Butler set the tea cups and the a piece of perfectly baked Black Forest Cake down in front of her, even her temper cooled down a bit. There was no better cake in the whole wide world than the cake Walter baked. And it was a rare occasion to get a slice during teatime, too, as Walter had decided in her youth that cake in the afternoon would spoil her hunger for dinner. Life was hard and unfair, yes.

By the time she snapped out of her thoughts, Walter had left again and Sir Islands was trying the cake. As he swallowed the first piece of his cake his eyes went wide and he hurried to take another bite, this time chewing slowly and savoring the taste. " I dare to asset that this is the best cake I have ever eaten." said Sir Islands after a few seconds,surprised.

Integra nodded, feeling a little more lenient with him, he had praised Walter's cake after all . " As a matter of fact, it is." she agreed and felling a small pang of guilt, she acted on it and continued: " And I have yet to send him on his well-deserved vacation, but Walter will probably not agree with me, on that it is." Sir Islands looked at her. " So he believes that without a butler, this house bold will collapse?" asked Sir Islands. Integra nodded. " My butler tends to claim that, too."

Sir Islands seemed to think about something for a moment. "Then, why not exchange Butlers with another family? I dare say that serving any other house bold would be relaxing for the butler of THE Hellsing family." he continued.

Integra thought of last nights "Boredom Incident" – Alucard, deciding that he was bored and annoying the hell out of her, resulting in a destroyed study, a few broken windows, Seras keeping Integra from clawing Aucards eyes out and Walter holding Alucard down with his steel wires. Not to mention that Walter had to clean this whole mess up. – and had to agree with Sir Hugh Islands.

Seeing her affirmation, Sir Islands said: " My wife told me about her niece's fiance's butler. " " The sister of my cousin's cousin's friend's neighbor… ." Integra thought and snapped right back to reality. " Lord Phantomhive's butler is supposed to be really capable and said to bake excellent cake. Capable in a way that he can serve the Queen's watch dog, I would say. That should be sufficient for the Hellsing house bold - for a short period of time. If you want me to, I will contact this person and ask about a possible exchange."

He seemed to have forgotten about his summer residence, while eating the cake, but this was alright with Integra. She thanked Walter wordlessly and said a quick prayer, to keep her from loosing money ( paying for the reconstruction of the residence).

Thinking about the suggestion for a moment, she decided to try it, after all, she still felt bad about last nights incident and Walter hadn't gone on a vacation for over 9 ?... years.

" Please contact this person and ask him to sent a reply immediately." Integra requested and sipped her Earl Grey. "Very well." Agreed Sir Islands. "My wife will be delighted." Sir Islands, Integra noticed, seemed to have a soft spot for people that made his wife happy. She made a mental note – she could use this – and decided to have Walter send her something for Christmas. Then she smiled her best fake upper-class-smile at Sir Islands and made a compliment about his wife. The high-class-Lady behavior lessons of her youth, paid off…sometimes.

As expected, the rest of their conversation was pleasant and Sir Islands refrained from charging her for even more than she had already paid. Cutting the Geese's expenses on weaponry had been bad enough for_ her_ to go on a vacation.

A few days later came Lord Phantomhive's letter, which said that he was quite interested in this exchange, as he had heard from Sir Islands' wife that her butler made excellent cake, which seemed to be fun for him to compare to his butler's.

Furthermore ( and most importantly ) he asked what Walters opinion on staying up late was. This confused Integra, but she answered anyway: That there was "no problem" with staying up late, Walter was after all the butler of the infanous "Hellsing Agency". She set a date for the exchange and ordered a member of the Geese to bring her reply to the post office.

After that she called Walter and presented him Lord Phantomhive's letter. "Sir Islands had a very good idea." she said. "You will participate in a butler exchange, as you refuse to go on a normal vacation."

It was a nice day…at least for Integra, who ignored Walter's objections completely.


	2. Chapter 2

Here is chapter 2. Especially for the people that send me such nice reviews. And PLEASE pretend that "post-it's" existed in that time...and stoves, which you can switch on and off...or did someone already invent them?

And here is what Sebastian always says: わたくしは 悪魔だ、執事 です から。 Actually it translates: Because I am a demon and a butler. But this is a bit obvious, so I took the line as it was translated in the subs.

**Disclaimer: **I'm still not Kouta Hirano. So "no" I don't own it.

* * *

Walter's alarm went off at 5:45 AM sharp, as it always had for the last 30 years and more. He switched it off and got out of bed, dressed neatly in his uniform, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, shaved, pulled on his gloves and pinned the chain of his monocle to his breast pocket. Then he checked his appearance in the small mirror attached to his bathroom wall, looked at the neatly packed trunk and left his room at 6:05 to make breakfast for Integra.

As he passed through the halls, he greeted the house staff quietly, like every morning and entered the kitchen. With measured steps, he walked through the door, ignored Alucard, who had apparently chosen his position at the kitchen table to mock him, and began to prepare a substantial breakfast for Sir Hellsing. She had gone to sleep at 3 in the morning. Walter wondered how this would affect the new butler.

While he scrambled the eggs, his eyes wandered over the small, white "post-its", which he had left at important places, to help the Phantomhive butler and sighed.

Behind him Alucard began to chuckle and Walter, whose expression changed instantly, plastered a butler's smile on his face, turned and bowed, "good morning, Master Alucard, how was last night's mission?" Alucard's chuckling stopped as he answered and a wicked smile spread over his face, "the same punks as always but say Walter, isn't this an _awfully_ heavy sigh, you sigh so early in the morning?"

Walter recognized his tone as the same mocking tone that regularly drove Integra up the walls. But instead of getting angry like Integra or showing any sign of irritation, he placed his monocle on his nose and answered, "Master Alucard, everyone will be counting on you not to scare my replacement away." Walter switched the stove off and arranged the scrambled eggs, bacon, porridge, fruits, cereal, bread, Earl Grey tea on his tray trolley, and set a blood bag down in front of Alucard. Then he grabbed Integra's correspondence and left kitchen, to serve Integra a steaming hot breakfast at exactly 7:13.

As he entered Integra's study, she was already sitting behind her mahogany writing desk, reading the newest newspaper. Good old English Personal. She looked over the edge of her newspaper and asked shortly, while continuing to read the article she had been reading upon his arrival, "you will leave after I finished my breakfast?"

Walter bowed slightly and replied, "yes, I wish to arrive early at Earl Phantomhive's manor, to prepare lunch."

"Very well," she seemed to be in a quite good mood, so early in the morning. Unfortunately Alucard choose this very moment to stroll through a wall into Integra's office. While doing so his coat "accidentally" got caught in the frame of a picture and it fell down with a loud "bang", which startled Integra – who had placed her newspaper on the table and was now opening her letters while eating breakfast – and caused her to cut herself with the paper knife.

As she watched her blood drip into her tea, Walter could see how lines appeared on her forehead. He only knew too well, what this meant. She would be in a bad mood the whole day; Walter really pitied the Phantomhive's butler. _To have this happen on his first day__...r__eally bad l__uck__._ He pulled a small first-aid kit out of one of his pockets and made his way over to Sir Hellsing. It was always handy that he kept a first-aid kit around for such occasions.

A maid appeared to replace the spoiled tea and he disinfected Integra's cut, to put a small bandage on her finger. After he was finished he began to count back from 10 in his head, _10...9...8..._he turned his back to Integra, to walk back to the tray trolley. _7...6...5...4..._he pocketed his first-aid kit and reached the trolley._ 3...2...1..._ he moved towards the door.

**BANG! BANG!**

Two loud shots could be heard. _0. _Integra had shot Alucard in the head. This always happened. Walter looked at Alucard, whose cerebral matter now decorated the walls and sighed. Quietly exiting the office, Walter heard Integra bark at Alucard, "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER! AND DON'T LEAVE STAINS ON MY CARPET!"

His replacement wouldn't know what hit him.

**At the Phantomhive residence:**

Sebastian was irritated, extremely irritated and it wasn't even 7 in the morning. Bard had already burned the kitchen down with a flamethrower, destroying Ciel's breakfast. Maylene had destroyed a set of fine chinaware and stained the carpet with her nose bleed, as he rescued her from falling over and landing headfirst in the shards. Finny and Pluto had turned the back yard into a waste field, as they had played a game of catch.

Sebastian angrily pressed his eyes together and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could swear that these four could sense it, if he was busy and an "accident" would happen and cause trouble. These four always chose these exact moments to cause trouble **all at once**. They were worse than any demon. He proceeded to cook Ciel's breakfast – once again *sigh* – and wrote the instructions to the Hellsing butler with the other; the previous one had been destroyed by the flamethrower.

Turning to place the instructions on the main work top, he saw Chibi-Tanaka – Ho ho ho!– turn in to the normal Tanaka and stopped in the middle of his movement. "You have no need to prepare so much, Sebastian, Walter – The Angel of Death, butler of the **Hellsing** family, is really capable." Tanaka said and with a quiet "puff" turned back to Chibi-Tanaka, sipping Green Tea and laughing his usual "ho ho ho!"

Sebastian continued his movement smoothly and placed the note on the kitchen counter, arranged Ciel's breakfast on a tablet and went up to the dining room to set the table. While doing so he pondered what kind of human would be called by the name of a Shinigami and why Tanaka knew about this butler. In the dining room he placed down the breakfast and went to wake his Bocchan. Sebastian opened the door to Bocchan's room quietly, stepped in, greeting Ciel as usual, "bocchan, it is time for you to wake up." Then he went to open the curtains, fixed them at both sides of the window and asked Ciel which breakfast he would favor. Today he dressed his Bocchan in Prussian blue clothes, with a dark gray bow tie that matched Ciel's hair. After he helped Ciel in his shoes, he followed him into the dining room and stood a few meters behind Ciel's right side. While telling him his schedule for today, he was interrupted by Ciel, "so, Sebastian, why are you still here? You are supposed to change places with the Hellsing butler today."

"I will take my leave after I cleared the dining table, as soon as you have eaten your breakfast," Sebastian replied with a smile, as he had very well detected the sly undertone in his Bocchan's voice. Still, he couldn't leave it to Maylene to clear the table... tableware was so easy to break.

"Could it be that you are thrown off balance, Sebastian; by the fact that you will spend two weeks in another household?" Ciel continued like a self-satisfied cat that had caught an especially fat mouse. "You disappoint me. I wouldn't have thought that you are that easy to unsettle, butler."

"But of course not, Bocchan, I am just displeased with the fact that I will have to rush here _from __London_, as soon as you "_need"_ me," Sebastian countered, with a wide smile and a voice as sweet as honey. "If you are finished now I will take the plates, I wish to take my leave to journey to Hellsing manor."

"You are sure that you will make it for lunch?" Ciel shot back.

"But or course, Bocchan, I am a hell of a butler, after all," replied Sebastian and left Ciel to his correspondence.

Sebastian looked at the faces of the other servants in front of him, "make sure not to cause trouble for the Hellsing butler." He smiled at them so sweetly that he could see the fear on their faces, "I would hate to hear that you turned the mansion into dust while I was away." After he was sure that they got the message, he sent them away, but not before ordering them not to do anything until the new butler had arrived. Now there was only one thing left for him to do and it was to hope that the substitute could handle them...and Ciel. So Sebastian went to his room to get his trunk, placed it in the hall and went up to say goodbye to his Bocchan.

Then he left for London.

**With Walter:**

In the meantime Walter had caught himself a carriage and was now on his way to the Phantomhive estate. "We will arrive at our destination within a short period of time," the carriage driver informed him. They turned around a corner and Walter could see a huge mansion at the end of the road. A few minutes later the driver halted the carriage in front of the main entrance. Pulling his purse out of a pocket Walter paid him and stepped out of the carriage. Under his feet scrunched the gravel. Moving closer to the door he could see a small part of the back yard and was slightly surprised as he noted that everything seemed to be newly arranged.

Then he opened the door and stepped into the entrance hall of the Phantomhive mansion. In the next moment a cluster of three people nearly run him over. Walter moved out of their way in the last moment and gathered from their shouts, "we have to catch it, before the new butler arrives!" "Get it!" "Catching a grasshopper can't be too hard!" The grasshopper changed directions and they came running in his direction again. With a small movement of his fingers Walter cut the grasshopper into half with his metal wire and caught the maid that had been knocked over by a blond youth with hair clips in his hair.

In his arms the maid looked up to him in surprise and starred into his face for a few seconds, before blushing a deep red and staggering backwards with a small cry. She fell into the arms of the two other servants, who had stopped to stare at him.

"I am Walter C. Dolnez, it is a pleasure for me to meet you. I will be this household's butler for the next two weeks. I will be looking forward to work with you," he introduced, set his trunk down and bowed, his right arm crossed over his chest. Then he pulled a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and picked the remains of the grasshopper up. They starred dumbly and then began to shuffle, everyone fighting to introduce themselves first.

"I'm Bard, the cook," presented the older blond and gave him thumbs up, before being shoved to the back and crashing into the hand rail of the stairway. Next came the blond youth with the hair clips.

"Hi, I'm Finny!" he cried happily and stepped aside.

This left the maid, still red in the face she hid behind her _cracked_ glasses and greeted, "I'm Maylene. I'm the maid...and... ah! Bocchan! ... Is in his study on the second floor..."

Walter smiled at them and bowed his head as they introduced themselves. "It's a pleasure," he repeated. "Would you tell me what happened?"

"We wanted to be useful, but Sebastian forbid us to do our work until you arrived and then Maylene opened a window to air the dining room and then the grasshopper hopped in and then we chased it because we thought you would get angry at us if you saw it and then you arrived!" Finny cried, without stopping to draw breath. Walter pulled up an eyebrow but decided not to scold them.

"Thank you," he replied instead, "you did great. If you'll excuse me now, I wish to go up and greet Earl Phantomhive." They nodded violently and Walter passed by them, to go up the stairs.

As he had climbed the stairs he heard them whisper in what he assumed they believed to be hushed voices.

"Why did you blush? You normally only blush when it is Sebastian that catches you! He's OLD!" this was Bard, Walter assumed.

"I don't know. There was something in his eyes...I think..." replied Maylene.

"He seems nice!" chirped Finny, "he praised us!"

Walter wandered out of earshot and cursed the heavens, for always landing in a mad house.

**With Sebastian:**

Sebastian looked up to the dark complex of buildings that was the Hellsing estate and felt like he needed to be cautious about this mansion. He attached his best smile to his face and went up to the guards at the iron gate.

"Good day," he greeted the soldiers, "I am Sebastian Michaelis, as of today I am the new butler."

The soldier he had addressed just stared at him until the second guard nudged him in the ribs and said, "he's Walter's replacement, let him pass."

The soldier gave a jerk and apologized, "I'm really sorry! I thought it was one of Alucard's jokes. I could have sworn your eyes were red, for a moment. Sorry." He laughed sheepishly and moved to open the gate. Sebastian bowed his head and moved into the enclosure. That had been unexpected.

As he stepped over the border of the Hellsing grounds he felt the presence of a being living in the mansion, but he couldn't quite place his finger on it. The smell was definitely disgusting. Sebastian decided to be careful anyway, as he concluded from the guard's reaction that this Alucard liked to play games.

He moved to the front door and placed his hand on the door handle, but was surprised that the door was being opened from the inside by a maid, as it was supposed to be. He had nearly forgotten that personal like this actually existed. Smiling to himself he entered the entrance hall. Maybe he could actually relax a little bit, as the servants in this household actually seemed to do what they were supposed to. The maid handed him a sheet of paper. Sebastian glanced at it and was once again pleased with the maid's work. She had handed him a map of the mansion and the grounds. To put away his trunk, he first went to the servant quarters and then went to the second floor's main study to meet this Sir Hellsing.

Knocking at the door twice, he waited for a reply, which allowed him to enter the room and then opened the door quietly. Sebastian entered the room and bowed politely. Standing up straight again he experienced a mild surprise for the second time today. Whether positive or not, he couldn't say. Sir Hellsing just had proven himself to be a cigar smoking woman in an olive-green suit. According to the title he had expected a man. Still, this didn't show on his face and he introduced himself as he had intended, "it is a pleasure to meet you Sir Hellsing, I am Sebastian Michaelis the Phantomhive's butler. I am looking forward to serving you for the next two weeks."

She nodded in acknowledgment and introduced herself before continuing to work on the papers she had been writing on, "Integra Wingates Fairbrooks Hellsing. I believe you will do a sufficient job."

Sebastian took notice of the irritation in her voice, even if it wasn't directed at him. "Is there anything specific that you want to eat for lunch?" Sebastian asked waiting cautiously for her to answer.

This time she didn't even look up. "Sandwiches."

"As you wish," he bowed again and left the room. Maybe this wouldn't be so relaxing after all. Sebastian made his way down again in order to get to know the kitchen before bringing Integra her lunch at 12 o'clock. The kitchen proved itself to be well equipped and the silverware was brightly polished and perfectly balanced. Sebastian had to agree with Tanaka that this Walter was at last a capable butler. After he had found everything he needed to prepare the sandwiches, he began to cut the bread.

Behind his back the disgusting smell grew stronger and a rough voice – for which Sebastian felt an instant dislike – growled, "since when are demons good butlers?" Sebastian's right eye twitched and he turned around with a strained smile. How could he not recognize this most disgusting smell? It only could have been a Vampire. As he looked at the black haired and red clad creature, his eyes were caught by the seals on the Vampires hands.

With mocking concern he replied, "don't they hurt you?"

"No more than yours!" The Vampire hissed baring his fangs at him, his body language even more clearly showing the mutual loathing he had for Sebastian than his words.

Demons and Vampires just didn't get along; this was a law of nature.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Did you people watch the new episode of Kuroshitsuji 2 ? 3

Well anyway...I'm so sorry, for updating so late! The only excuse I have is that I had the worst jet lag ever...I know that isn't a very good excuse...T_T''.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hellsing or Kuroshitsuji.

**With Walter:**

Walter stopped in front of Earl Phantomhive's study and allowed himself to waste a few seconds to hope that his current master wasn't the same kind of person, as his servants were. He straightened his clothes and checked if his hair was still in a neat ponytail. _The first impression is always most important._ Walter thought and knocked twice on the door. Waiting for a few seconds he entered the room and immediately had the creepy feeling that he had gone back in time. A 12 year old _boy_, instead of an adult, was sitting behind a huge writing desk. Hiding his surprise, Walter smiled and bowed, but couldn't help but wonder why all of the Queen's secret organizations – Integra had told him of the "Queen's Watchdog" business – seemed to be led by children. Even if he knew that he couldn't call Sir Hellsing a child anymore, she had been one 9 years ago, when she had inherited the 'Hellsing Organization'. _Manners__,_ Walter reminded himself; _just because I have experienced a little surprise I mustn't forget my manners. Standing in front of the new master like a stature,__ getting__ lost in thought, i__s NOT an option_. "I am Walter C. Dolnez, your new butler. It is a pleasure to meet you," Walter introduced himself.

The young Earl was looking at him, smiling a smile in which Walter could detect a tad of arrogance and irony. "Ciel Phantomhive. You are surprised at my age," Ciel stated, without much of a change in his expression.

_Yes,_ Walter remembered, _this is the same kind of smile Integra always wore when she was meeting a Lord that thought he could look down on her, because of her age. Or when me__eting someone new, who might think so._ He could recognize this smile; but he could work with that, after all he had been in this situation once before. "Yes, a little," Walter answered truthfully, as lying could do irreversible damage to their – at the moment – non-existent relationship. "But when Sir Integra inherited the 'Hellsing Organization' she was about the same age as you are now," Walter continued and thought, _but she didn't wear an eye patch,_as an afterthought. How very curious. As Ciel didn't respond, but Walter took that as a good sign and bowed to excuse himself.

Turning to the door, Walter felt a movement behind him and stepped two steps aside, to avoid the dart pin, which Ciel had thrown at him, as soon as Walter had turned his back to him. He caught the dart pin with two fingers of his left hand and turned to face Ciel, who was looking at him with approval. Walter guessed that he had passed some kind of test. At least it wasn't as dangerous as being shot at with a gun. _Good__, _he thought smiling and placed the dart pin on Ciel's writing desk.

While doing so Walter addressed his new Master as if acting in a stage play, "I fear you have lost your dart pin. If not, I believe that you have to use something more … _dangerous_ to harm me."

Seeing the shadow of a real smile appear on Ciel's face, Walter felt quite pleased with himself and assumed that he had made an acceptable impression. Turning to the door once again he left the room and decided to go down to the servant quarters to see if Bard, Maylene and Finny had made some mess, which he had to clean up. After all, they all had seemed to be that particular kind of individual, kind of like Schrödinger; always here _and_ there, causing trouble. At this point Walter couldn't help but shudder and hope that they wouldn't be quite like Millennium's one and only feline boy. _They wouldn't be able to be everywhere at the same time...but there are three of them... _ Walter mused. He hoped for the best but prepared for the worst all the same. He had lived with Alucard for too long.

A few minutes later, when he entered the corridor in which the servant rooms were located, his feeling – sadly – proved itself to be right. Coming from what he assumed to be the direction of the kitchen, he heard a crash and loud voices. The cook, Bard he remembered, was shouting something along the lines of where Sebastian had put his flamethrower. Sweat dropping, Walter quickened his pace and luckily made it to the door of the kitchen at the very moment Bard was about to pull the trigger of a well used flamethrower. Making a mental note to confiscate everything that looked like Bard could light it on fire, he flicked his fingers and the flamethrower flew mysteriously out of the cooks hands into Walter's arms. With the other hand he caught a couple of plates Maylene had dropped at the sight of a flying flamethrower. After having saved the situation, Walter put on a stern look and addressed the three – Finny had stumbled into the kitchen a few seconds after Walter – servants, "I'd like to advise you to take things slowly, today. After all you have to get used to a new butler and this could easily take its toll on you." He held them in his glance until he was more or less sure they had got the actual meaning behind his words and then turned to clean up the mess they had made. This meant for the other three that Walter had dismissed them. They sat down at the kitchen table. A few minutes later Walter sadly realized that his advice hadn't done any good. Bard was once again inching towards the flamethrower, which Walter had placed on kitchen counter and Maylene was about to ruin a cooking book, as she had noticed that the table moved a little up and down on one side, whether you would place something on it or take something off. She seriously tried to shove the WHOLE book under one of the table legs. Walter once again flicked his fingers and this time the book and the flamethrower flew into his arms. Sighing and pressing his lips together he turned around to face them. "I would _really appreciate_ it, if you would take it easy for today. Thank you for your help," he said putting on his best 'Angel of Death'-smile.

This time he was sure that they would follow his advice. No-one was able to brush off his 'Angel of Death'-smile, _Well … maybe Alucard__, but he doesn't count_ he admitted and watched them leave the room.

While they did so, Walter heard Maylene mumble, "We wanted to make lunch for Bocchan, like always..."

Walter sighed as he watched Maylene's skirt vanish behind the next corner and felt like cursing his luck once again. _Like always … why me?_ The laughing, red eyed face of Alucard came to his mind and Walter instantly banned the self-pity out of his thoughts. There was a reason why he never showed any self-pity … he would never live it down. Walter sat down at the kitchen table and decided that it was now time to read the instructions this Sebastian Michaelis had left for him. Going over the instructions Walter noticed several strange things and a few positive ones. A positive one was that the other Butler had already prepared the young Master's lunch. Walter called Maylene and told her to bring it up to Ciel at lunch time. The strange things however were instructions for the case that the young Master was kidnapped and how he should feed the Phantomhive's dog … and a few other instructions that would have been quite disturbing if Walter hadn't been the Hellsing butler. But the strangest thing was an instruction to never let a red haired and red clad person named Grell inside the house. The instruction said he would recognize him. Walter couldn't help but imagine a red haired, hyper Alucard, for some reason and shuddered.

"Ho ho ho."

Walter banned the image from his thoughts and looked up to be met with the sight of a Chibi-Tanaka drinking green tea. "Oh my ... old friend you changed quite a bit, since I have last seen you," Walter smiled at Tanaka, who changed to the normal Tanaka with a quiet 'plop'.

"You in contrast haven't changed a bit, Walter," Tanaka answered.

Walter laughed and pinned the monocle to his nose, "I have grown older." A few decades ago, when Walter had still worked for the late Sir Hellsing, he and Tanaka had occasionally met, while being on missions for their Masters. After a while they had formed a loose friendship.

"We all have. How long has it been, since we last met, Walter?" Tanaka agreed and continued sipping his tea.

Getting up to get the teapot for the older man, Walter replied, "About 20 years, I believe," refilling Tanaka's teacup he continued, humor twinkling in his eyes, "you seem to enjoy your unofficial retirement."

"Quite. You should consider retiring too, it works wonders on your stress level," Tanaka suggested, thanking him for the tea.

Walter raised an eyebrow, "and who is going to take care of Integra? No, that is currently impossible."

Tanaka nodded, knowingly. "Yes, the old problem. But anyway, I wanted to warn you Walter. Sometimes, living in this house is quite … exciting. I just wanted you to know, so you can prepare yourself. Take an advice from an old friend, don't let yourself be taken by surprise," Tanaka said seriously. Walter nodded and the older man turned into Chibi-Tanaka again.

The rest of the day, went by without much trouble. Walter baked cake to go with Ciel's afternoon tea and earned an approving nod from the young Master. After that he prepared dinner and did the laundry, while making sure that none of the other servants did something fatal.

The only thing that could have surprised him was the Phantomhive dog. Which prooved itself to be a fire breathing, white hellhound. It obviously didn't want to accept Walter as the new butler and it's superior, but Walter solved this problem quickly by binding Pluto – Finny had told Walter it's name before – with his metal wires, making Pluto stumble and fall, unable to move. Walter only released it after it had shown him submission. That hadn't been so difficult. But what had really surprised him, wasn't the fact that Earl Phantomhive was in possession of a hellhound – Walter was used to them, as Alucard and therefore Sir Hellsing, was in possession of a few hellhounds – but the fact that Pluto turned into a naked man and rubbed with his shoulder against his legs, as Walter had released him, was new to him. At that time Walter had felt the strange need to hit the dog-turned-man with something hard, preferably a frying pan. And he had to change his pants and shoes, before he had been able to continue working, as Pluto had drooled onto the hem of his pants, which had resulted in soaked socks. Walter tired to ignore this, but for some reason he got the feeling that certain Vampires wouldn't let him live down that a naked man had drooled on his pants. _Disturbing. Alucard is rubbing off on me._ After this … experience, Walter served dinner for Ciel and sent the young Master to bed at 10: 30 like Sebastian had written in his instructions. Afterwards, Walter folded the now dry laundry and made a few more preparations, for the next day, in the kitchen. He went to bed quite early – at least for him – at midnight.

**With Sebastian:**

Staring each other in the eye for a few seconds, that blasted vampire shifted his weight a few millimeters to the left and hell broke loose. In the matter of a second Sebastian pulled out the silverware form a drawer, threw it at the vampire and jumped to avoid the bullets from the vampire's gun. The vampire had pulled two freakishly big guns out of his coat. One of the forks hit its target and Sebastian had to dodge a hellhound that had seemed to have appeared out of thin air. Landing in a crouch, he spun around in a smooth turn and faced the vampire once again. Sebastian _didn__'t_ appreciate the holes in the wall that the bullets had left behind. He would have to fill in the holes later. Sebastian was positively angry. Just as the vampire was about to jump at his throat a second time – and he had been about to throw the silver tableware again, but a little bit more discreetly, a blonde haired and red eyed had run into the kitchen and had stopped dead in her tracks, to stared at them wide-eyed. After a few seconds she unfroze again, sprinted out of the kitchen, down the hall and was shouting at the top of her voice, "SIR INTEGRA, SIR INTEGRA! MASTER IS ANNOYING THE NEW BUTLER!" This resulted in them both having to come to Sir Hellsing's study.

What had come after that had been quite a hilarious show. Sir Hellsing had calmly gotten a pistol out of a drawer of her desk, stepped around her desk, she let out a cry of furry, and emptied he whole magazine of her gun into the vampire beside Sebastian; leaving him a bloody mess on the floor. Then she moved towards the writing desk again, as if she had calmed down, but to Sebastian's surprise only to grab a massive looking, silver ashtray and to throw it at the newly regenerated vampire. "You will not, I repeat NOT harm or fight the new butler! Did I make myself clear, servant?" She had snapped at the vampire icily and then she turned to address Sebastian, as if nothing happened, "you will report to me if he tries to attack you again." Her voice had sounded exactly like when they had spoken before, so Sebastian had made a mental note, in case that this was the way she spoke when she was in a foul mood. In addition, he had made a second mental note to never to get on her had side. He nodded, seeing that she had been expecting a reply. The vampire had vanished through the floor, sulking like a child. She had returned to sit at her desk by that time and asked him over the paperwork, "you do weaponry maintenance?" It had sounded more like a statement than a question and Sebastian had finally understood why he had found a pistol magazine and a note, to pocket and use it, if needed. Sebastian had walked over to her desk and reloaded the gun. Then he had excused himself and left to continue preparing dinner. After this episode he had preferred to send a maid up to Integra, to bring her lunch.

Sebastian's eye twitched for like the 10th time in this minute. He sighed silently and continued to chop the vegetables for Sir Integra's dinner. Bringing down the knife a little too hard, it got stuck in the chopping board, causing that blasted Vampire behind his back began to chuckle. Sebastian pulled the knife free and had to resist the urge to throw it at the vampire. "Just because Sir Integra forbid me to harm you, that doesn't mean that I can't annoy you!" The vampire spat. Sebastian ignored the vampire and thought about what had happened earlier.

Yes. Hilarious, simply hilarious.

Even, if the vampire was still annoying, the memory of the vampire being reduced to a bloody pulp made him grin sadistically. But of course this smile vanished after a few seconds, before anyone could have seen it. He was after all Sebastian Michaelis, a hell of a butler. He put the vegetables into the roasting tin, to accompany the mustard roast. Sebastian had read on one of the post-it's that dinner was the most important meal in the Hellsing household. Furthermore he had read that a "day" in the 'Hellsing Organization' usually ended in the next morning. Good that he was a demon.

A few minutes later as he was cleaning up, Sebastian heard the doorbell ring.

As he opened the door, a pair of important looking gentleman were standing in front of the door. They even had mustaches and were wearing bowler hats. _Very important, indeed,_ he thought slightly amused. One of them asked for Sir Hellsing and Sebastian led them to the second floor. Knocking, Sebastian announced the visitors and closing the door behind them, stood beside it. The pair crossed the room and stopped in front of the writing desk. After greeting Sir Hellsing, the visitors introduced themselves as the royal family's messengers and announced that they had come to deliver a direct order from the Queen. "The Queen wishes for you to destroy a former member of the royal family," the taller one said. Integra pulled up an eyebrow skeptically, but let him continue. "A distant cousin of the Queen. A few weeks ago the target came into contact with what we call Freak-Chips and was changed into a vampire."

Integra nodded and asked, why the Queen had decided to contact her now, as he was changed a_ few weeks ago_. For Sebastian it sounded like she was asking for the catch of the mission. The taller man looked at his partner and continued after a few seconds, choosing his words, "On last Friday the target ran off to Italy, to avoid being noticed by your Organization. Obviously he didn't know of the Vatican's Section XIII. The Queen wants you to travel to Rome in order to eliminate the target. He is a former member of the royal family and thus has to be eliminated by an English Organization. Of course it is not an option to let the target be eliminated by Iscariot. Make sure to eliminate him before Iscariot does."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I have not really anything to say...but I could recommend some japanese Drama. I proudly present you the Dorama of this Chapter *drum roll*: Kimi wa Petto!

Description: Imagine you have a human as a pet dog!

And 'Yes!' I'm lazy.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hellsing or Kuroshitsuji. Or the Phantom of the Opera.

* * *

**With Sebastian:**

As Sebastian closed the front door behind the Oueen's representatives he couldn't help but get a bad feeling concerning the near future – and that not only because that damned Vampire crawled out of wherever it had hidden, as soon as the front door closed.

"Did you hear that the Vatican does like your kind even less than they like mine?" the Vampire mocked him, materializing in the middle of he entrance hall.

"_Yes I have heard, but I won't tell that to you." _Sebastian thought and decided to ignore the creature.

Instead he pulled his gloves a little tighter and turned to leave. While leaving Sebastian couldn't help but see the unnaturally wide grin that was plastered on that thing's face, as Sir Integra's servant was standing a few meters behind him. Crossing the room Sebastian decided that the Vampire would one day find some silver made object in his coffin. As soon as he had found out where that coffin was.

Sebastian once again made his way to Sir Intega's office, the Vampire's heavy footsteps following behind him. And of course, the Vampire had somehow managed to get mud on his boots in the short time he had hidden from the guests. _"It hasn't rained for days."_

Inside the office Sebastian was greeted with an really angry Sir Hellsing. Even if she was calm on the outside, Sebastian could detect the anger she was radiating off like an icy chill. _And_ she was smoking in such a manner that Sebastian was reminded of chimney. Analyzing the situation Sebastian decided that it was the best idea to quietly stand in a corner and wait for Integra's orders. He moved to stand behind her desk.

"Don't like the Italian sun, Master?" a bodiless voice of the Vampire said a few seconds after Sebastian had reached his destination.

Somehow the Vampire seemed to know about the contents of Sir Integra's conversation.

Dropping out of the ceiling the Vampire laughed at his own joke. Sir Integra ignored him. Better than any fortuneteller Sebastian could sense what would be happening in a few seconds, he left his spot behind Sir Hellsing and returned a few seconds later holding a mop and a bucket in his hands.

"My, my...Master are you ignoring me?" Alucard mocked Sir Hellsing and pushed one of Integra's paper piles lightly and while he was doing so, Sebastian was watching the scene with interest.

The pile wobbled a little, fell over in a white flood and before the paper had even settled Sir Hellsing was at her feet shooting at the Vampire. In the back of his mind Sebastian registered that the whole scene was quite like the other butler had written on a post-it. Or at least it happened after the same pattern. As soon as Sir Hellsing's first gun magazine was empty she pulled a second gun out of her writing desk and continued to shoot at the bloody remains that had been her vampiric servant. When no more bullets remained in the second pistol Sebastian set down the mop and moved to grater the paper. A few seconds later he set the newly organized pile back on Sir Integra's writing desk and went to mop up the bloody remains. Saving them in the bucket, he left the room to pour the Vampire out of a window and into the backyard.

Wandering through the corridor he opened a random window. Sebastian made sure to look into the bucket and let a spiteful grin flash over his face before tipping the bucket over and emptying the Vampire into a flowerbed. The sound the blood made as it hit the ground caused him to feel a satisfying warmth in the general region of his stomach.

Sebastian returned to Sir Hellsing's office savoring this feeling and reminding himself at the same time that he shouldn't feel so good just because he had poured some Vampire out of a window. "_But_" he mused "_if my general dislike for Vampires has turned into a specific loathing for that one, it should explain that._"

Back inside the office Sir Hellsing had gone back to working on her paperwork. Sebastian bowed and addressed her. " Sir Hellsing" ‒ she stopped writing, to stare angrily at her work ‒ "on which date do you wish to leave for Italy?" Sebastian inquired and looked at her cautionary.

She lifted her eyes off her paperwork, ashes falling from her cigar and onto the papers, causing her to bring her hand down onto the glow with a 'bang', saving her work. "Tomorrow!" she snapped at him and looked at her desk for a few seconds, before thinking otherwise.

"Italy is a dangerous place for our Organization to go to, Rome – where to that fool had fled – even more so. I expect you to prepare yourself properly. You may leave now. I'll send a maid to give you a list of things I intend to take with me, later. Dismissed." She turned back to her paperwork.

Sebastian was quite surprised. Wandering through the house a few moments later, he couldn't help but muse about Sir Hellsing's words. He assumed that this had been her way of showing that she cared about the people that worked for her.

Sebastian went to the kitchen. And by the time a maid came to bring him Sir Hellsing's list he had rinsed some dishes, dusted every room in the first floor off, maintained the weapons he had found in Walter's gun room and had done the laundry. That Vampire had fortunately left to go on a mission some time ago.

Taking the list from the girl's hands he thanked her and read through it. Normal things like clothes were not to be found on it. Instead Sebastian read things like guns, ammo, blood bags, two coffins, the geese's commander – he momentary wondered what kind of person he had to be to be listed as luggage –, some art objects – he hadn't seen any of the listed ones in the mansion – and a bible from the 13th century. Thinking about the list for a moment, he wasn't surprised that he didn't have to pack clothes for Integra, not just because she was female, but because he was unable to imagine that someone would choose dresses for her or help her with getting dressed. She would pack the things she would need herself.

In the matter of seconds Sebastian found a big trunk and had packed everything but the art objects and the coffins – and that member of the geese, but he didn't count. Afterwords he decided to search for the coffins.

The butler stepped into the hall, thought for a moment and scanned the shadows for the basement stairs.

The sound his feet made on the stairs and the long flight of steps told him that he was on the right way. Echos on the stepping stones, only a very deep basement could produce this kind of sound. Sebastian mused for a moment, if a dungeon would be enough to keep that Vampire trapped, but came to the conclusion that the dungeon was probably just a bonus. He passed by a few doors until he found what he was searching for: The sight of a huge seal painted over a basement door.

As Sebastian opened the door it creaked in a way, which conveyed that it would close by itself as soon as he had stepped through it with the trademark 'bang' of a horror story. He sweat-dropped. But that was just what one could expect from this house. Even it it was as big as the Phantomhive mansion, it was not nearly as well designed. The corridors were dark and eerie and the rooms were to spacious to be comfortable, giving the impression that something evil could creep up behind you at any time.

Sebastian sighed and pushed the light switch. "_This is just overly dramatic._" He registered with a mild surprise that the light actually worked, as it came to life with an unhealthy sound. In the middle of the huge room stood a chair with a high backrest, furthermore there was a small table beside it. Apart from that the only other thing that could have been described as furniture was a black coffin, lying in a dark corner. Stepping closer he looked down on it. It's lid was decorated with a short rhyme, it read: "The bird of Hermes is my name, eating my wings to make me tame."

The demonic Butler pulled up an eyebrow. That Vampire seemed to have a weakness for drama.

**Somewhere unknown:**

"I assume you have heard?"

"Yes, Milord." two figures bowed in the direction of the first voice.

The source of the voice proved itself to be a wing chair facing away from the two shadows. " Now that that damned Butler is gone, Ciel Phantomhive is vulnerable. Set the plan in motion."

"Yes, Milord!" the shadows answered again.

With a bow they exited the room, leaving the wing chair to remain alone in it's darkened room. "Ciel Phantomhive... ."

**With Sebastian:**

Sebastian had packed that Vampire's coffin and the art objects, before searching for the second coffin. This time he didn't know what to search for, so he relied on his instincts. These led him to one of the doors he had passed by, the first time he had descended into the basement. Being the perfect butler he was, he knocked twice, waited some time and knocked once more. As no-one replied and Sebastian wasn't able to detect anymore vampire-stench than usual, he assumed that the female vampire wasn't there. He opened the door, and stepped in finding his former assumption to be proven wrong. The blond draculina was standing in a small bathroom, toweling her hair and singing at the top of her lungs, hitting the right tone _not even once_.

"_That voice which caaaaaalls to meeee!  
...nd speaks my name  
And do I dreeeeam again?  
For now I find  
The phantom oooof the opera...!"_

Sebastian's ears had developed a quite unpleasant tinnitus after the second line, so he decided to cough loudly as soon as she needed to breath again. Her singing stopped and turned to a real shriek, as she saw him standing in the doorway.

She banged the bathroom door shut.

Sebastian pulled up an eyebrow and was forced to step aside as a rumpled looking man with a braid fired his gun at him. That man seemed to have come running because of that draculina's shriek. He had only one eye. " _Curious._" Dodging another gunshot, Sebastian grabbed that man's arm and confined him in a headlock. "And you are?" he asked smiling.

" Pip...the geese's captain...uuuh...no! Who are you? And what did you do to Seras?" the man stammered, not being able breath properly.

Sebastian smiled even wider at his prisoner. "I need to pack you, anyway."

Sebastian closed his eyes still smiling, masking his irritation about the commotion. _"She was toweling her hair, fully clothed."_ The butler ignored his prisoner's struggle and addressed the vampire behind the bathroom door, raising his voice a little. "Miss Victoria? I humbly apologize, if I may have startled you. I came to pack your coffin for tomorrows journey."

Seras mumbled something inaudible and then opened the door, to look at him sheepishly. At the same time Sebastian's mind was overtaken by a cloud of strawberry scent. A slight headache joined the tinnitus. _"I almost prefer __**that**__ Vampire's company over these two."_

Sebastian continued to smile.

* * *

**Special:**

Sebastian hung the last bed sheet up, picked up the washing basket and moved across the lawn. The day had been nice and uneventful, the sun was just going down and the birds were still chirping. He stepped on to the back porch, stopped his movement in the middle of a step and stood very still for a moment. Then he set down the basket, turned around and moved a few steps back into the direction he had come from.

" _I thought so... ._" Sebastian crouched down in front of a small rise in the ground and then seized something that was lying behind the rise, in one fast movement. As he pulled his arms back he was holding a small black cat in his hands. The cat looked at him with big, yellow eyes, but after a few seconds it meowed and tried to play with Sebastian's hair. The Demon smiled at the cat and plucked a fern frond from a flowerbed.

Scratching the cat behind an ear he moved back to the porch. On the porch he set the cat down and wiggled the fern frond in front of it's eyes. In the blink of an eye the cat jumped at the fern and tried to catch it. Smiling to himself Sebastian entertained the cat and himself with moving the fern so it would always be just out of the cat's reach.

When the cat began to loose interest in the fern, he picked it up again and pressed his right thumb against it's paw, so that the claws would extend with a faint 'zing'-like sound. The cat began to purr. Sebastian released the paw for a second and pressed his thumb against it again. Doing this was pure bliss.

Unknown to Sebastian a dark figure was observing him from the shadows of the mansion. So when Sebastian set the cat down – because the light began to fade – a hellhound materialized out of thin air and swallowed the cat in one piece.

The sight of the cat being swallowed by a hellhound made a vain pop on Sebastian's forehead. A wild chase began, Sebastian was trying to stab the beast with his table ware, as to make it spit the cat back out. He chased the hellhound across the lawn leaving scattered flowerpots and bent tableware behind. On the third time it passed the back porch, Sebastian hit the hellhound with a wall-aimed fork, making it tumble into a especially big flowerpot. With a few fast steps the butler caught up with his prey and seized it by the neck. Then he stormed into the house, the huge hellhound trailing behind him. It tried to scratch and bite him, but Sebastian was tired of the Vampires actions and intended to turn him in. Integra's wrath would be worse than Sebastian's punishment. An evil grin spread over his face as he dragged the struggling beast up the stairs.

Stopping in front of Sir Hellsing's study, Sebastian decided that not announcing his presence would be an appropriate way to show his anger. So he slammed the unfortunate Vampire into the door, thus opening it. Sebastian saw Integra jump and glare angrily at him, but he ignored her and said instead: " You must excuse my behavior, but your Vampire seems to swallow innocent and unsuspecting kittens in the garden. I won't tolerate such behavior."

Sebastian bowed and let go of the hellhound's scruff.

Sir Hellsing's eyes narrowed dangerously at the hellhound. "Spit it out, Alucard!" she snapped at her vampiric servant. "Immediately!"

Said servant seemed to eye her cautiously and came to the conclusion that it would be better for him to obey. He spit a very wet and visibly angry cat out. The cat landed at Integra's feet and meowed pitifully. Integra looked at the cat, sympathy clearly shown on her face. "Sebastian, take it down to the kitchens, dry it and feed it a bowl of milk." she ordered the butler. " I will see to Alucard's punishment."

Sebastian nodded in response, picked up the cat and walked out of the room. While walking away he could hear the sound of Integra's ashtray hitting something soft. The sadistic grin appeared once again on Sebastian's face.

**I know that I need to stop writing about Integra shooting Alucard. ^_^'' BUT I can't help it... .**


End file.
